The scourge that is “Duckface.”
“Duckface”, also known as “ducklips” is an asinine expression popping up on Facebook (and other) pages across the Interwebz. As defined by Urbandictionary.com, duckface is a “stupid facial expression put forth by stupid women that don’t know how to smile. The Duckface is made by moving both lips as far up and outward as possible. Commonly seen in photos of slutty women where the lighting is too high up or they’re taking photos of (themselves) in the mirror.”
It appears most popular with young, absurdly over-tanned, excessively eye-linered women (most often sporting “porn pink” frosted lipstick)
but can frequently be seen among the young, male douchebag population as well.
“Hey! Everybody look at me! I’m all gangsta an’ shit! Bitchessssssssssssss”
Duckface has even inspired a music video – probably more than one, but this one is my favorite. And I just noticed on the Youtube page that someone has devised a FB game:
FACEBOOK DUCK HUNTING: The rules are simple, every time you see a girl making a duck face in a photo, you comment, “BANG”.
Damn. I have got to get in on that.
No one quite seems to know how this blight on portraiture began and I would like to believe the person who started it would be too embarassed to admit it. I would LIKE to believe it, but I don’t.
Duckface is, to me, one of those true, honest, “What the fuck??!!” moments. Was it supposed to be sexy? I will admit that I am not in the “duckface demographic”, but I can’t imagine anyone seeing this as sexy. Cheap, sleazy and desperately whorish, sure. Sexy? Not so much. This poor girl had the misfortune to never meet a plastic surgeon who knew how to tell her, “no”, but she’s making it worse.
In fact, the more I see of duckface and the bigger, more protuberant the lips are, the more I just see a baboon’s ass. POP QUIZ TIME! Which one of the photos below is of a baboon?
Shit. It was a trick question. They are BOTH baboons.
So let’s make a promise – a resolution, if you will – to eradicate Duckface not just in our lieftime, but in the next 12 months. Let’s mke 2012 the year that we remove this scourge from the fake tanned, ballooned-lipped face of the Earth. This is not the legacy that today’s society needs to leave to its children. Remember: friends don’t let friends duckface!